The Desire to Die That Feeling Of Loneliness

The Desire to Die That Feeling Of Loneliness A Dream Our Lord's Help

The Desire to Die That Feeling Of Loneliness : thank you for your advice my dear Sara, I’m not good at telling about things while I’m writing, but I know that I can make it with Our Lord’s help; almost two years ago I used to live what seemed a happy life, a family who loved me, a job, a house, the thing was I felt empty inside, I wondered why I went on living, the reply was that I had what I always wished for, but in my heart there was no happiness. I clearly remember that I said to myself “I’ll never kill myself because I’m afraid to not be able to go to Heaven then (that was the input that made me fulfill the good in my heart,) so I hoped it would happen, but not being my fault, sad very sad, mostly for who loves me.

I remember that at work people went on speaking about Angels to me, I couldn’t stand it anymore, I wondered why they insisted! Then they told me how to contact my Guardian Angel.

I tried to write to Him and He replied by a drawing of Angels with a middle P and many number eight one after another (later I discovered that it meant “infinity” referred to God.)

I asked my Angel anything I thought of and then I understood that your had to follow a spiritual pathway.

I remember one evening while I was writing, my Angel told me that God wanted to speak to me, I stood up thinking I was really going mad, making it all up! Then I took up the courage and I wanted to listen. Maybe I was one of His messengers, He asked me if I would have agreed, I accepted, but honestly I had no idea want it meant.

Since then I speak with Him.

One night I had a dream, I was at home and someone knocked at the door, a young man came in, he was well dressed, with long, dark hair tied up in a pony tail. I noticed that my house was different, I remember it as if it had just happened, the light at home was white … wadded, bright, shining, not blinding, He spoke to me peacefully, but only by telepathy, He asked me if I really wanted to leave my beloved ones and most of all if I wanted to leave then dying on my own like I went on asking. I replied I did, although I was hesitating, being sad about it. He asked me to look into the kitchen, I was there lying on the floor facing downwards, I recognized myself although I couldn’t see my face, there was water on the floor. He explained to me that I would have denied my beloved ones to be near me the last minute of my life and that wasn’t fare. He said that I was turned downwards for my wish … I wasn’t looking towards God … I was very frightened but I wanted to go anyway, that light, that peace .. that silence I never heard before .. then I looked at myself again there and He showed me my beloved ones near me, their grief was unbearable.

I decided to stay. He made me understand that that was the right decision, He said goodbye to me and left my house.

I told my beloved ones about what I had been asked, to be one of His messengers, they obviously didn’t believe me … I wouldn’t have probably either, I can’t blame them, but that disturbed me, not letting me completely believe what was happening, making me become vulnerable, instances of great confusion and fear that ended up in a “I love God” said with my heart. It was at that time that I understood that Faith started to bloom inside of me. My only worry is that very few people know about my story and among them nobody is one of my beloved ones, but I know that it will happen when God will consider it the right time.

Later I remembered one at a time the most gloomy times of my life, peacefully, I cried asking Him why, He made me think about it, accept and change such a negative remembrance into a lived experience, on which I should have based my entire earthly life. He made me face my fears, all of them.

He helped me with everything even with the most stupid choices, as I consider them, to make me see how sweet His love was: it was there, patiently, kind, efficacious, Pure.

He wanted to help me understand my Soul that had suffered so much until then, being hushed up by my mind so corrupted by impure thoughts: fear, anger, impatience and so on.

Now, after two years I can rely on Him to help those who need Help, by that I mean speaking about Him. “How can I help other people?” I asked Him one day. He said. “Speak about your experience and even if only one heart will come back to Me I’ll Be Happy.” The real Miracle is knowing God is happy.

I only give messages, He often points out people who are in need to me, He asks me to help them speaking about my experience, the things I have learnt, He has given them to me firstly Himself, patience, forgiveness, trust, never a negative judgement, although someone wound your feelings. Once a person sweared and I got angry … then He gently told me not to offend that person getting angry … then he said that that person didn’t know, like a child who had never tasted chocolate says that He doesn’t like it, on the other hand I know, so it’s more my anger that I express that hurts Him.

He never abandons us and He never misses an instant of our distress or happiness or sadness, but He’s with us on our pathway with lovingly caress just like a Father … OUR FATHER.

Believe me, what you feel for Him, you only feel it for Him.

Thank you for having listened to me

The Desire to Die That Feeling Of Loneliness A Dream Our Lord's Help are words of Ilenia

The Desire to Die That Feeling Of Loneliness A Dream Our Lord's Help

The Desire to Die That Feeling Of Loneliness