White Dreams Inner Search Transformation a Story Witness of White Dreams
White Dreams Inner Search Transformation a Story Witness of White Dreams
Hello Sara, I’ve picked up the courage, so I’ll write my story. Do whatever you think is right with it. I’ve ended up on your Site, (by chance???). Over a year ago after having read Giacomo Arigò’s books (La Storia più bella - The nicest story) looking for something that could have told me something about Angels, your story - introduction struck me, because it was what I felt, and what I was looking for. I printed it and read it peacefully and since then I go on your Site steadily.
I’m not really sure if I should tell you about my story, because I have often thought that talking about myself isn’t so important or special. Who am I, anyway? But something tells me I have to tell you about it.
I was born fifty-one years ago to take my sister’s place who died when she was eleven of leukemia. My parents suffered a lot from her death, especially my mother, herself was expecting a son from her new pregnancy, but I was born instead: another girl. It was impossible to not make comparisons, but me and my sister are different from one another physically and temperamentally (for what one could have compared!!) she was beautiful, sweet and submissive, I’m impetuous and a rebel. My mother couldn’t stand the comparison, she tried to love me in every sort of way, and I’m sure she did, but our relationship was influenced all life long. Until she died two yr/s ago at the age of eighty-seven from what she expected from me and from the continuous, unfeasible comparisons. Stupidly I came into war with my sister. Ending up hating her, and yelling out at her “It’s handy for you to die. It’s me who’s here to battle on Earth. You don’t have to worry anymore about not living anymore!!!”. I waged war on a dead child until I was thirty-one.!
I’ve always faced life as in a battle. I’m not going to tell you about all the difficulties I’ve been through, but I’ve had a lot. At first I was always frightened, but later on I armed myself and started off to the “We of life.” When I was sixteen, I fell in love. In that bloke I saw the love of my life. He was introvert changing from tenderness to hardness, a great worker, but he longed for a silent and obedient wife (that I wasn’t at all!!) I became attached to him a lot, and I married him when I was twenty-two. When I was twenty-five I had my son Mathew. The relationship between him and my mother was always conflictual. But everything was difficult with my mother. She was an instable woman and if by chance she was feeling great a few mins later I was blue, and that was for everyone.
With all these things there was my anger, wishing to be loved and feeling important for someone. I didn’t even feel important for my five year old son who preferred to stay with his grandmothers (I used to work eight hours a day from Monday to Friday) Until we ended up in 1991 when I lost my farther and my farther-in-law in a few moths time. And my anger turned into grief up to a constant thought of wanting to die. I felt useless, useless for my mother who didn’t respect me, nor my husband who used to put me in a different position, not in an important one in his thoughts, and I felt useless for my son thinking that he’s grown up very well without an “useless” mother like me. I have had these thoughts for many months until one night, apparently one like any other one. I went to sleep as usual, as usual I prayed to God to help me, because I was suffering. And I fell asleep … and what I call my “White Dream” started: It was in the night, I was sitting in my car on the passenger’s seat. The car is moving at a normal speed. I presume my husband’s driving, but I don’t see the driver. In front of me the usual road we take on leaving my mother-in-law’s house, a long straight road, a bend on the left, another one on the right, a hump, and opposite us a hill, the trees far away silhouetted in black against the horizon, we faced the hump and then I expected to find the next long bend on the right, but suddenly the road split into two roads; one, the one I on which has become white, and broke away from the “normal” one underneath, the road goes upwards, and I can see Earth below. I can see the old dark road with the dark tree in the evening. I’m above and the road’s white, the trees are white, Everything’s like what it is on Earth below, but completely white. My car isn’t there anymore, I feel as if I were on the threshold of a world. I don’t know if I’d better go in or not. I feel great peacefulness inside of me, far away I get a glimpse of some white silhouettes, maybe of people, and I hear inside of me a voice that says: “Is this what you want?” and suddenly I think: “I’m dead, I’m really dead! What I wanted had happened. After a few seconds of astonishment and joy I start rational thinking: “I can’t die, I MUST raise my son, he’s only five!” Suddenly I get sucked back into my body and I wake up very lucid, but strangely peaceful in my bed. I get up and go into the kitchen. I drink some water, my head was pounding, I understand something special had happened to me, I’ve still got that peaceful feeling of that place I saw of a few seconds. I went into my room again and I was overrun by an strong smell of flowers, roses and freesias. I went out of my room thinking that that smell was just an illusion, I don’t smell it in the other rooms. I went into my room again and the smell was there, wonderful and strong. I understand that something great has happened but that I don’t have any proof. After twenty years I still have that feeling in me.
We expect clamorous miracles from God, I got a constant, silent and great one, my life changed since that day.
Suddenly my thoughts of death are gone and strangely (for me) my husband has started to come and fetch me at work, being worried for example if the weather’s bad, or if I could have needed help, or if I didn’t feel well. He started to help me if he saw me busy at home. I often found him looking at me as if I were strange and when I told him he used to say;:” You’re different, you’re beautiful!” I’ve been diffident for a long time, not days but many months, but the road had changed. At work I felt self conscious and respected. The confidence and peace of mind I felt inside of me made me think with Love towards my sister, there was no more, no more war between us but only a desire to get to know her. That “white dream’s inside of me. I feel I want to get to know God inside of me. I want to have some sort of contact with Him, dreams have been His means. Since then I can “greet” some people that are “on the other side” and when it does happen, they transmit a joy that lasts for a long time.
I don’t mean that since then I have had an easy life. Far from that. But for now I have been able to go on with these means.
In my research of contact with the world of Light, with my pressing prayers, first reading Giacomo Arigo’s books, then with my researches on our guardian Angel, you came along with your Site, reading your witnesses, the messages, your suggestions, I read on your Site that other people have had “white dreams” and that gave me the input. It made me think that maybe I’m not a “mad arrogant” thinking that Our Lord wants to communicate just with me, basically I was suffering such a lot, that He wanted to help me by that dream. Since them the success of the existence of a world without grief and only full of Love settled in me. I can’t imagine God as a punishing Father. And on your Site while reading messages from Heaven I have never found words of menace, or punishment, but only a Father’s, a brother’s words, who see His children and brothers suffer.
My research began before with Angel Fabio Arigò, who has been the beginning of my inner research of my invisible friend of my life, I have already been helped by Him, then I decided to put into practice your hints to try to contact “my guardian Angel.” Now I’ve got a Car park Angel too (I’m a copy cat,) but everything just started like that, to put Him to the test, then I tried to get to know His name, and it wasn’t easy, but I knew it depended on me and not on Him, on my drafting of my Soul, each time I asked Him something with all my heart I have always been satisfied.
It all began with a :”My dear Angel, it’s my birthday will you give me a present?” and I got the one from my Mum and that quite normal this far, but the greeting card was really special. It was the guardian Angel’s note and a card along with it that I always keep with me, with “I’ll be next to you today and forever. I’ll always be there for you. Happy Birthday.” on . My mother was invalid and to choose that card she went to a shop that I myself could see that the note was in a hidden place, and she called the assistant to get it, because she was stubborn to want exactly that one!
When I asked him how to do it. It took me months to get it. My diary where I noted down my thoughts was always opened on one page for many days, or the bookmarker always ended up there, but I didn’t understand. I went on asking Him His name. My diary kept on opening on the same page, and I didn’t understand until one day my husband, at table speaking about a woman’s possible pregnancy, suddenly said to me: “She’ll call him Benedetto (Benedict!) I looked at him stunned asking him: “Why Benedetto?” His reply was: “I don’t know, it just came to mind!” I immediately stood up and went to get my diary that always opened on the same page … and it was July 11th Saint Benedict!
Today’s Saint Benedict, not being able to embrace my Benedict I have asked my beloved ones to it for me, I’ve ask our Lord to give him a present of Love on my behalf and I wrote Him a note. As soon as I finished writing to Him, I folded the sheet of paper and I wondered if He was pleased about me. I went out onto the terrace and I found a wonderful white feather near my feet. I picked it up and put it in the sheet of paper I wrote Him and then thanked Him.
You see, Sara, as I already told you, I don’t know if I should write to you, I haven’t got an important or striking story, but whoever knows me has told me that at a certain point of my life I have deeply changed. Miracles sometimes are interior healings, they are Love miracles like the one I have received. My relationship with my mother has always been very hard, but since that dream I had, I haven’t had the strength to endure evil from her, because I knew that she was suffering, she died on July 27th 2009 after two months of terrible suffering, absurdly, during those two months she was a “sweet mother” that went on saying: “You’re my strength” to me, who was unable to kiss her, l spoiled her during those two months, Our Lord gave me another present, He gave Love to give.
I know I have written a lot. If you decide that something I have written, could be useful, use it!
I thank you for what you do, for the time you spent with me reading my letter.
Today July 11th 2011 Saint Benedict
Title White Dreams Inner Search Transformation a Story Witness of White Dreams
Choose English version in www.leparoledegliangeli.com (the words of the Angels)